beefysquirrels:

i was washing dishes the other day and i got so into it i felt like a 50s housewife and halfway through i became overwhelmed with the thought that i had to cook dinner and pick the kids up from school but then i remembered that i’m a 19 year old gay boy

grossiest:

one time my friend sent a pic of a birthday cookie but he didn’t have candles so instead he lit a green bean on fire

sassafrasscas:

raxacoricofallapatorius-nine:

ifyoucarryonthisway:

this is a serious question how do you get a boy to like you when theres always someone better like why would anyone ever pick a raisin out of a bowl of chocolate chips this is literally my biggest concern in life i am a raisin 

there’s gonna be that one person out there who doesn’t like chocolate chips more than raisins, or is allergic to chocolate, and they’re gonna see that one raisin and think, thank god for that raisin.